Apr 2009

Flying from Vientiene to Hanoi was a great idea as the prospect of spending 28 hours on a bus journey which would be plagued by scams at the border didn't appeal!
Soon after landing in Hanoi we negotiated a stupidly low price for a guy to take us into the city, 30km away, the alarm bells should have rung. After specifying several times where we wanted to go the driver appeared to take little notice! Sadly all wasn't well and instead of arriving in the vibrant old quarter of the city we arrived in a dark, dingy and empty side street. After a length and heated argument in which with their broken English they told us they didn't want Vietnamese currency but only dollars. This was quite exasperating as we didn't have any dollars, so pushed them aside and gave them some Thai money and walked off, annoyingly they followed us for a bit but soon found a legal taxi.
By this stage we were both a bit frazzled and desperately in need of the sanctuary of a good hotel room. After checking out a few places we stumbled upon a lovely hotel where we promptly locked ourselves away for a night of Sky tv and raiding of the mini bar!

In the morning we set out on the walking tour which is given in the lonely planet book, obviously nearly every other group of travellers had this book and also seemed to be walking the route but it did give us a great insight into the old quarter of Vietnam. The most striking thing was how shops organised themselves, one street would be full of jewellery shops, the next full of clothes shops etc. Along the way we explored several food markets which where amazing and we now firmly believe the saying that they eat anything in Vietnam! We saw turtles in cages waiting for boiling and half a dead dog.

After lunch we visited a theatre to watch a water puppet show. Basically the stage becomes a shallow pond of water and behind a screen puppeteers operate puppets that appear to be floating on the water. Several stories are narrated throughout the performance, none of which we understood but the performances are fantastic and now we have discovered the video function on the camera and short video will be uploaded soon!

It is fair to say that the majority of people who visit Hanoi go on a trip to Halong Bay, famous for 300 limestone rock formations protruding out of the sea and also for Top Gear! We decided against doing an organised tour after our debacle in the Nepal national park even though Lonely Planet’s recommends taking a tour. So we bought a ticket form our hotel to the island town of Cat Ba in Halong Bay thinking we would get there in half a day. Unfortunately it soon became obvious we were to be part of tour for the first day and after seeing how the guides treated the tourists we were glad to leave them at the end of the day. Whilst on the boat to Cat Ba we saw many of the famous limestone karsts and also our first floating village. The villagers now made a good living from taking tourists on small boats into remote caves. It is hard to say whether they are happy having so many tourists and their money or perhaps they would rather be left in peace to live off the sea.

In the town of Cat Ba we found decent accommodation, not a hard task as all the local men seemed to do apart from fish was to build more and more hotels, sadly opting for quantity over quality. The food here was good with fresh seafood available at every restaurant.

Andrew was still not feeling 100%, but despite his headache he was still up for a bit of water sports action. So we decided upon a kayak trip down to the capital city. As Laos is currently in the dry season the Nam Song river was not at its most menance, but we were promised a bit of boat-rocking in the rapids. With only six in our group we paddled in pairs through the steady current, marvelling at the surrounding jungle engulfed in mist. The waterways would have been perfectly peaceful if it wasn't for the deforestation noises in the distance, or so I thought. Later at lunch we heard the same chainsaw sounds again and realised it wasn't coming from a tree chopping machine, but it was in fact a very loud insect - a whole party of them humming away! We couldn't actually see the creatures but with its strange buzzing screech I wouldn't have been too keen to meet them anyway. Other riverside wildlife joined us for our BBQ lunch, such as hundreds of tiny frogs marching up from the rocks, or the hestitant butterflies attracted to our life jackets. Quite a few annoying flies came close for a nibble but thankfully the chainsaw bug didn't chop off our toes.

Back on board the boats we braced ourselves for the white water, being told to stay straight down the middle and avoid the rocky right and left, perfectly demonstrated by the guide. Andy controlled the steering from the back and I instructed from the front when we launched into the roaring rapids.. "RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, RIGHT RIGHT, AHHHHHHH!"... The rip showed no mercy and we were soon fish food. Flipped out with a splash Andy soon drifted off oarless while I somehow clung on like a clam and floated to his side. Once safetly back on we watched the others tumble on down just as spectacularly. Nothing like a bit of exhilaration to make you feel better!

Our next mission, if we chose to accept it, was to jump off a craggy, 10m rock into the river below, which didn't seem bad until we were faced with the looming height. The so-called brave gathered at the top peering over the edge, umming and arrhhing about whether its worth risking our lives, no one wanting to jump first. Until, a little, timid Japanese girl from the group appeared from knowhere and casually stepped off the side, plop! What had she eaten for lunch I wonder? A slightly camp Aussie guy hilariously whoop whooped his way down next before I took the stand for my final plunge to death. Weeeeeeeee! Easy! I'll post the video up as evidence.

We paddled a few more hours to our waiting minibus and then onto Vientiane - which is actually pronounced Viang Chan, not Venitian as we keep saying. The French are responsible for the modern transliteration and their influence is seen elsewhere such as the prominent Patuxai momument reminiscent of the Arc de Triomphe, and the surrounding tree-lined boulevards are also described as the 'Champs Elysee's of the East'. Now, I won't lie to you, these comparisons are a little ambitious, and although the similarities include a stone arch and a few scrubs it's not a patch on gay Paris. However, this booming city does contain some great gems, such as its oldest surviving temple - Wat Si Saket built around 1820. After seeing several wats it can seem rather similar, but this wat in particular have several unique features. It all looked a bit eery when I stepped inside due to the grey thunderstormy clouds brewing, and as I peered around the courtyard 100's of beady eyes were starring at me from the shadows. Buddha statues of varying shapes, sizes and material completely cover these wat walls, small ones in niches and large ones seated on the floor. In total there are 10,000 Buddha's sitting serenly. Not sure how they know which one to pray to though.

I was a bit gutted to be leaving Laos so soon, especially as in a few days it would be Laos New Year where everyone has a massive water fight. But on our way to the airport a lady on the roadside was celebrating early and threw a huge bowl of the wet stuff all over our tuk tuk, drenching us through. Maybe its a good time to leave!

After two days boating we were ready to leave our river legs behind and explore the beautiful town of Luang Prabang with it's French provincial architecture and multi-ethnic inhabitants. I was struck by the relative prosperity of this place due to the modern shops tailored for Western tastes, but the lovely Laos culture is still found in the smiley, friendly folk serving 'Italian' Ice-Cream, or 'Swedish' bread! We sort out more locals at the colourful fresh produce market, stocking up on leafy greens or dried shrimp. Once again we were amazed at the wonderful specimens on offer, both dead an alive; a giant, butchered catfish lay slumped on the stall while his smaller mates were squirming in a shallow bowl on the floor. One woman had a handful of plump, speckled frogs ready for the pot, looks like I was a bit late to kiss one and get my handsome prince... will just have to make due with Andrew the toad.

Climbing the 100m high slope of 'Phu Si' we got an excellent view of the town with the Mekong on one side and Nam Kan on the other. Standing at the summit is the majestic 'That Chomsi' stupa where a lady sells the little caged birds, but before I got a chance to set them all free Andy spotted a Russian anti-aircraft cannon on a nearby crest - which kids (and myself) used as a merry-go-round. Whoo Hoo! To end the day we got engrossed in the Handicraft Market selling dozens of similiar snazzy souvenirs - beautiful applique blankets, silk scarves, bamboo lamps. Shopping is not Andy's favourite pastime and unfortunately for him all the umbrellas and canopes sheltering the sellers were set at the average Laos height, so his enjoyment was somewhat severed by backache. A Beer-Loo by the river soon consoled him and we watched the fisherman coming home with their catch as the sun set.

I was really keen to get up at athe crack of dawn the next day to observe the sunrise procession of monks receiving alms. There seem to be so many monks here in Luang Prabang and their bright orange attire can be spotted everywhere, but I particularly wanted to see the large group together. However, I couldn't quite muster the energy after having a restless night from nearby noises - sometimes its feels like all sorts of animals gravitate towards our bedroom for a party, those gheckos certainly like us and make a loud "Whah-Urgh" noise over and over, a bit like a huge hiccup. If I didn't like them so much there would be a lot more squished gheckos in the world.

Andy was feeling a bit green from all the Beer-Loo, or maybe it was the frogs, and he became even greener on the zig-zagging roads to Vang Vieng. The usual top-class VIP buses slightly slumped in standard and we were back to the rickety dust buckets bumping along windy pot-holed tracks. Despite the nausea its hard not to be impressed by the dramatic landscape in Laos, huge undulating limestone hills, the kind you'd draw as a child.... mounds up to the top of the sky and valleys down to the earth... the stuff of fairytales.

Vang Vieng is essentially a backpackers party town where bikini-clad revellers drink their way down the river on tyre inner tubes, or spend their days chilling in a bar watching Friends. We're way too old for that.... well, not really, but due to Andy's aversion to alcohol (I know! Shocking!), we took a more sedate trip on a bike round the local villages. The roads are quite basic and our little 4-gear moped could just about manage 15mph on the stoney surface, zoooooommmm! Even at that speed Andy nearly crashed, but in his defence that was because a 6ft red and green reptile came slithering into our path. Snakes are a delicacy here but I didn't even have a chance to take a picture of him let alone bash him over the head. We kinda missed having the quadbike but we still reached some fantastic spots in the peaceful hills, although the locals are certainly cashing in with every point of interest there with lots of kids ready and waiting to show you around in return for a few dollars. Two little eager boys were keen to guide us to a secluded lagoon, and showed us the delights of swinging on a rope before plunging into the murky depths. When we were sure crocodiles didn't lurk nearby we too launched in with arms flailing, screaming with joy. Another small chap with a head torch showed us to a nearby cave and pursuaded us to follow him into the dark hole, which was amazing. There is supposed to be some fabulous caves to explore here so if we were more prepared we may have gone further, but as soon as Andy felt something on his neck we were outta there!.

So much to explore and such little time, we're off to the capital tomorrow.

The slow boat is a two day cruise down the Mekong River with an overnight stop. Many of the people we have spoken to about Laos have had conflicting views about this trip so before we booked we walked to the pier to check out the boats and decided to sign up for the VIP seats.

The next morning loaded with our packed lunch we departed from Huay Xai (the Thai - Laos border crossing point) and were very glad to have the good seats as the others were just wooden boards and for 10 hours that would definitely dampen the experience! The views through the first half of the day were good but spoilt somewhat by the smog caused from the Laos peoples desire to slash and burn seemingly endless acres of forest. As the day wore on the Beerlao (Laos only major export) started to flow very freely for some members of the boat which only seemed to make the Americans louder. So with ipods to hand we settled back and watched the scenery pass us by.
Along the banks of the river were several very small settlements, the only way in and out of his area is by river and the captain dropped off several bags of rice to the locals. There was a large number of fishing nets cast into the water along the sides held there by lengths of bamboo. Sadly we didn't see any nets been hauled in. SOme of the locals have made there own very primitive, fast and dangerous speed boats that consisted of a wooden dinghy with a car engine and propeller fitted on the back. These scary boats passed regularly with crsh helmet wearing tourists but we had definitely made the right option with our slow cruise.

We arrived in the evening into a place called Pak Beng which has grown tremendously over several years into a real tourist hub with the locals making good livings off the regular influx of tourists. After a relaxing day we found a quiet curry house and reminisced about the Indian cuisine. Sadly the locals seem to have a disproportionately high number of cockerills that seem to think its dawn all night long and were constantly squawking.
The Laos way of life is very relaxed, apparently they only work if its fun and enjoyable (can't see that sentiment transferring to the UK any time soon!) so when we asked what time the boat departed in the morning we were met with blank stares, in fact no one really new so to make sure we got decent seats we arrived early.
We had a roadside breakfast on the way down, no bacon and eggs here just buffalo skewers and tough sticky rice. To say we got the cheap cuts of buffalo was an understatement!
The second day was more spectacular view wise with the visibility increasing and many more interesting limestone formations to view.

In the evening we arrived into Luang Prang the end of our boat trip which was definitely worth doing. Met some interesting people and some that sadly thought they were but fell well short! Luang Prang was a very pleasant riverside town that has also grown due to tourism but in a much more controlled way so as not to damage its original features.

It became apparent just how merry Andrew had been last night by his inability to open his bloodshot eyes more than a tiny slit. I left him clutching his head, downing a pint of water, while I merrily, skipped off to my Thai cooking course - which was a bit of a show because I too felt a little queasy. The school was only around the corner and I was the first to arrive, keeno, so I got to sip Thai tea while my fellow classmates joined the party: Chris and Sarah, a reserved English couple from Stoke, and Jasper and Nan, an unreserved Dutch couple from Amsterdam. I explained the other half of my couple preferred the end result of cooking rather than the preparation bit, but we all agreed by the end of the day that anyone would enjoy this!!

Our teacher was a typical, smiley, bubbly, Thai lady with the cute name of 'Oi', needless to say no-one in the group forgot that. She took us around the local, fresh food market to show us and explain some of the ingredients we would be using, then it was straight to the chopping boards to conjure up a spicy, lemongrassy, garlicy feast! We pounded the pestle and mortar, smelt the fragrant aromas and only after a few moments of wok time a sensational snack was ready and waiting... and if I do say so myself, they were delicious! Although we each prepared our own 7 dishes we got to learn all the other choices available and after every course we got to sit down and enjoy our creation. It was amazing how quick and easy it was to make such great Thai food like Tom Yum soup (sweet and sour), Green Thai Curry and Fresh spring rolls. The majority of Thai food is fresh and healthy and the small portions make it ideal for snacking throughout the day! Heaven! Andrew would indeed have loved it!

I went back to the hotel beaming, with my belly about to burst, and found the hungover hippo wallowing in bed - He had also been on a blow-out, but English style - a massive full fry-up and, I'm shamed to say, a Burger King. We spent the rest of the day lounging like Buddha's. In contrast to our gluttony we decided to detox the next day, starting with a sweat-inducing gym session at a plush hotel, then a quick dip in the chilly pool, finished with a snooze on the sun lounger. Proud of our new toxins levels we went for a sushi dinner where we kinda counteracted all our goodness - All You Can Eat sushi for 6pounds with drinks and pudding included - the pressure was on with only one hour and 15 mins to shovel it in. As I went to get the drinks Andy had already tucked into his first plate of prawns before realising the correct procedure.. We were given a bowl of bubbly soup in front of us and like a Swiss meat fondue you were expected to boil the beef in it! So Andy had just eaten three RAW prawns and was happily munching away without a care. Luckily, it was the only 3 raw ones he ate, and undeterred we just carried on piling in the chicken, veg and seafood, with plates piling up everywhere. At any moment I expected Andy to make a mad dash to the toilet, but he managed a further 25 cooked prawns plus about 10 tempura prawns without any pains. All You Can Eat is a bit pressurizing, and I did force the second bowl of icecream down much to my belly moaning. Hopefully we won't need to eat for another week now.

Acutely aware we are rapidly running out of time we had no choice but to head to the Loas border. With only 2 more weeks left we have decided to cut short Thailand and miss out Cambodia, on the proviso that we will return. So, we got another VIP bus to Chiang Kong, which was 6 hours of bumpety bump on the back seat. The scenery was becoming more mountainous and undeveloped but our vision didn't go far due to the thick, low clouds covering the countryside. Again, out overland crossing was swift and uneventful, we just caught a little ferry across the water, got a few stamps and we were through... Loas here we come!

Once across to border we found a cheap guest house and booked our slow boat for the next day to take us down the Mekong river. For dinner we decided to just go downstairs in our hotel, where the loopy landlady didn't feel it was necessary to collect our drinks for us, she just instructed me to the fridge where I gathered my choice of beverages and served them to Andy - he was delighted as you can imagine. I gladly reminded him the consequences of drinking too much beer as he tucked into his second bottle of Beerloa, which I have dubbed Beer-Loo due to it's effect on Andy's bowels. He collected the next round of drinks! Early to bed for our early rise tomorrow!