Our relatively stress-free stop over in Delhi consisted of avoiding the smelly, mental, choas outside and doing dodgy transactions with the hotel staff - like changing over our Nepalese rupees or ordering a beer. Both of these services are seemingly normal yes, but we were told by the cheeky waiter with bad teeth that we should "no tell reception!". We haven't quite worked out if alcohol is illegal in some places but we normally have to be discreet when downing a Kingfisher.. service in a sports bottle or coffee cup for example, adds to the excitement I guess. It is definitely hotting up here because the sewer smells are becoming a lot more potent, and the crowds are swelling, so we were glad to make a swift departure after our last lovely chicken curry and rice.
Next stop Singapore, and oh what a refreshing contrast! If Delhi is hell on earth then Singapore is surely paradise? Jumping from pollution, poverty and chaos into graffiti-free, organised, clean-cut utopia. It was like time-travelling from the past staright bam! into 2050! It is so advanced by comparison that I half expected robots to serve me my noodles. It's an amazing place, a city, an island and a country, smartly compact all-in-one, and so perfectly efficient. On arrival at the serence, orderly airport, complete with tropical plants and waterfall, our bags were already floating around the conveyor belt! Now that is a first! I told Andy to take notes so if he ever goes back to work at Heathrow he knows the standard we are aiming for.
My only preconception of this opulent land is from my grandad who informed me it is home to the architectural landmark that is 'Raffles Hotel' - an adored Singaporean institution which happens to be one of the most expensive hotels in the world. A little out of our price range, and as we don't have anything in the way of smart attire we couldn't even treat ourselves to a Singapore Sling. (It has been noted that Andy only wears one T-shirt, but I can assure you he has at least two!). Anyway, even without cocktail guzzelling I knew my credit card would need dusting, no more dining out on a $1.
With only a day to see the sights we firstly took a trip on the big wheel, a bit like the London Eye but its bigger, less crowed, cheaper, generally better, and comes complete with a fab circular map so you can identify what you're looking at . Ingenious! Spectaular buildings such as the Esplanade Theatre and the classical Art Museum shape our view, so much construction Andy didn't know where to look, "yes, those big cranes are interesting darling!". The friendly Yorkshire couple in our pod told us about the riveting specialities in Singapores cultural heart - Chinatown, where amongst the many weird and wonderful sights you can witness live Bullfrogs trying to hop away from the butchers knife - certainly sounded ribbeting! So after a quick Hamilton impression on the F1 track we headed downtown for some sweet and sour.
Walking for more than 10 minutes in the hot, humidity was about as much as we would could bare, but luckily there is always an elaborate, air-conditioned mall on every street corner to shelter from the rays. They certainly like shopping here and you can easily spend your whole day mooching around these multiplexes. If I had any room in my rucksack I'd have been temped by a nice, new Gucci dress, needless to say Andy tried to keep my mall-time minimal. But unlike many of the cities we've visited Singapore streets are well laid out, with signposts, and logically numbered buidings, and shock horror, no roaming cattle! Even without our trusty Lonely Planet Guide we could easily find our way by looking up to the high rises, so no tantrums about map reading. We'll certainly come here again!
Newly appointed Logistics Manager, Andy, booked a night train to Kula Lumpur, but made a grave error in his class judgement. Not a wink of sleep was had on seats 4 and 5 in 3rd Class, so upon arrival at 6am we grumpily search for a comfy, full-reclining mattress to recover. Again with only a day to explore we set off, rather late, in the midday sun to see what this edgy city had in store. Elements of Singapore were visible with its magnificent malls, efficient transport and modern trappings, but it seemed altogether more gritty and ecletic, where people are not prisoned for chewing gum, and pavements are strewn with potholes. We first headed to the iconic 88-store Petronas Towers where we missed getting one of the 1,000 free tickets for the Skybridge on the 41st floor. But marvelling at the building itself was enough, and the three floors of shopping and dining, plus the spacious park with sycronised fountains kept us busy. The materialistic malls must have got to us because we succumbed to a frappuccino at Starbucks! Boo! Can't beat Java Chip!
Next we took a leisurely, if rather sweaty, stroll around the Lake Gardens, 92-hectares of lush greenery at the edge of the city. Containing a host of attractions we glanced though the edible garden, where I couldn't see anything to eat, and then decided upon a spot of peddaloeing on the water. I peddaled to a little island in the middle of the lake where I intended to deposit Andy and leave him, but a huge, scaly lizard greeted us at the edge and Andy's screams scuppered my escape plan. Maginfient mosques and temples are everywhere in KL, and every time we tried to take an inside tour the tourist-time had past. We even got whistled at by a scary security guard for walking on sacred marble... but the path led us there! We did have a quick look in the beautiful Islamic Arts Museum, which I could have spent longer in if it wasn't closing.
Our hotel was right in the middle of bustling Chinatown and by the time we came back in the evening a huge market was in full swing, stalls so close that it was difficult to weave through, let alone get to the side of our hotel. From what we have been told KL is known for it's great nightlife, and many people travel from Singapore for the relaxed, late-night pubs and discos, but with weary feet we bypassed the Bob Marley Bar and got some pillow time.
For those of you following our itinery, we had planned to take a train straight up to Thailand, but after a recommendation of the pristine beaches and cheap diving on the east coast we decided to take a detour. After further investigation of the map I noticed a remote spot called Gemia island... my very own Island? How could we resist? And if you are wondering what role I have been appointed... its Entertainment Manager! Whoo! Parties on Gem Island here we come! 
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